Oldie but Goodie

(Note to spinsters and school marms: Mild language in the following joke.)

***

A man from the Midwest strikes oil on his land. The first thing he decides to do is treat himself and his poor crippled younger brother to a year-long trip to see Europe.

When they get back, the local press is excited to find out what the two small town boys thought of the world, so a reporter goes out to get the scoop. He catches the older brother one morning going out to work.

"Sir! Everyone would really like to know," says the newsie, "where did you go on your trip?"

"Well, first we went to Paris," the brother says. "It was beautiful ... the lights, the river, the sights from the top of the Eiffel Tower ..."

The reporter asks, "Did your brother go to the top of the Eiffel Tower?"

"No, my brother's a cripple, he couldn't get up there."

"So," asks the reporter, "where to next?"

Then the man says, "Well, off we went next to Venice. The whole place was amazing. We saw the museums and all the pretty buildings. And of course the gondolas."

Curious, the reporter follows up, "Did your brother take a gondola ride, too?"

"No, my brother's a cripple, he can't climb into a gondola."

"Was there anywhere else you went," the journalist asks, "after that?"

"My, yes," replies the man. "Next we went to Rome. Spent most of our time in Vatican City. We even got to see the Pope! He came out on his little balcony and waved to the crowd, and blessed everyone there. My brother immediately dropped his crutches and threw his hands in air!"

"Goodness," says the astonished reporter, "and your brother can walk?!"

"No, my brother's a cripple. He fell on his ass."

***

(See, all this time you thought it was a joke about the handicapped, when in actuality, it's a Catholic joke.)