I don't get it ("it" being sports)

Now, I do understand the desire to paint yourself up, wear silly hats, drink beer, act like a mental patient, and sing old songs. In fact, I take advantage of every holiday I can to do just that. My silly hat collection is quite enviable, in fact.

But I still don't understand sports. Going to games can be fun, even if you don't usually watch the particular sport you are attending, for the above reasons. And parties can be fun, because they are scaled-back versions of going to the game. But how many people sat home in groups of one or two or three, absorbed in the Super Bowl, qua game? And how many of those people, even ones who don't live near a football team, talk about how "they" won or lost and let it affect their day? I won't even bring up the yahoos that trash whole cities now and then.

Now, it must be genetic, because this craziness goes as far back as the Nika Riots, and even further. I must be lacking the gene, because I don't even understand it. I don't like mushrooms, but I can intellectually comprehend why some people do. I can't say that for sports fanaticism.

I would be more inclined to be passionate about sports if the teams were meaningful. Even if you live in a team's city, the players change so much, who cares? Even the uniforms get make-overs every ten years. How can you get attached? Teams should:

• be forced to draw players only from their own state/city, OR
• represent, and be entirely composed of, different religions, OR
• represent, and be entirely composed of, different political persuasions, OR
• force players to stay with the same team for their whole career, or maybe allow one move, OR
• anything else to make teams representational. Only recruit Red Wings whose favorite color is red. Only recruit Packers who really, really, really love cheese. ANYTHING.

Because as it stands now, it seems pointless to me.