Latin Catholic by birth, Byzantine Catholic by the grace of God.
Pro: Restoration of the Holy and Universal Christian Roman Empire.
Caveat: The author makes no claim to being an exemplar of Catholicism or Monarchism (or blogging).
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Location: Upstate, New York, United States

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

"Have Scandal Your Way:" Part 1 of 3

A Throne and Altar Expose

There have been some recent developments in a small Christian kingdom that warrant much more attention than the news media have given them - the Jacobin press have been ignoring an upheaval that deeply affects a suffering people.

T&A brings this story to you.


The King of Burger, left, who draws his legitimacy from the Gilded Crown of St. Flame of Broiled, has been unable to give children to the Burger Queen, who is advancing in years.

Under normal circumstances, when there is no direct male heir, the Crown passes to the King's eldest brother, as the Burger Kingdom is a Pure Salic monarchy. There is no room for female leadership in The Home of The Whopper.

The People had loved their previous monarch, right, father of the current king, whose reign came to an end with his sad death in the late 1970s. Every year, on St. Patty's Day, he would appear personally at the grand balcony of Sesame Seed Palace, and throw freshly minted Silverburger coins, left, to the crowd. And on the last schoolday before every Christmas, each child was given a Bacon Double Goldburger, worth approximately seventeen American dollars.

Yet if the Folk of the Land knew that their beloved leader, whom they had dubbed "The Great Meat Father," would eventually be to blame for their current troubles, they would riot - plastic hand puppets would be smeared with ashes and rent in two in protest and public shame.

Next: Sins of the (Meat) Father.


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