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Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Islamic gamesmanship in Canada

So Musselmen were going to behead Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

The Toronto Star believes that it's "time to challenge Muslim extremists." To a rousing game if Scrabble? It remains to be seen.

Your author is constantly bewildered that a nation that speaks mostly proper English, lives under a monarchy, and generally displays wonderful manners could have such a death urge.

Can Mohammedans play Scrabble? One imagines that Pictionary certainly wouldn't be halal: "Ahmed, that roundish squiggle looks a little like The Prophet! I can't broach such idolatry!" Ahmed might protest that he was drawing a baby carriage, but oops, too late, his head's cut off.

Children in the Middle East don't play Hangman for the same reason. Accidental Hangman idolatry was one of the main causes of student revolt in 1970's Iran. So now they play Hangfalafel.

And forget about drinking games, of course.

Monopoly causes it's own problems, because as we know, once a land is Islamic, just like Spain it belongs to them forever. Forget about selling Baltic Avenue, unbeliever!

They can play Chess, but for one piece to capture another, it has to destroy itself in the process, so it's not much fun.

One place that Islamic gaming has been misunderstood is the schoolyard. Muslims don't have Dodgeball, they have Dodgerock. Much of the footage you might have seen of youth throwing rocks at people has been taken totally out of context. If a soldier catches a rock, the boy who threw it has to sit out the rest of the game.

Perhaps this whole Canadian thing was a similar misunderstanding.

3 Comments:

Blogger CS said...

Foreign words are not allowed in Scrabble!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006 12:47:00 AM  
Blogger hilary said...

"lives under a monarchy,"

Well Guy,

there's your first mistake. The only time Canadians remember the Moncarchy is when they are coming up with a new name for a tourist trap. We've got a lot of stuff call the "Royal" this or that, but there's where it ends.

I think the poor old queen is even being taken off the money.

(Where do these Americans get their ideas about us?!)

Sunday, June 11, 2006 7:00:00 PM  
Blogger Jovan-Marya Weismiller, T.O.Carm. said...

Hilary,

From the Constitution Act, 1867, maybe?

BTW, Guy, great post!

Sunday, June 18, 2006 3:33:00 PM  

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