Mass among the bourgeois barbarians

A social event forced me to a Novus cOrdo on Saturday. Horrifying! Outside of the regular decay I expect, women on the altar, the CirKiss of Peace, priest facing the congregation, pre and mid-Mass congregational yakking, acolettes, charismatic palm-up posture, "lay ministers" and recipients grubbing the Eucharist with their fingers, and the constant use of the words "fellowship" and "community," there were other frightening moments that really did scare me.

• The only time the priest was ad orientam was when he held the basket o' cash from the collection over his head and gesticulated with it. Is this the Temple of Mammon? Creepy.
• Although the ancient, glowing white marble altar was still intact with a working tabernacle, the Body of Christ was placed in a side altar by a fat woman in hip-hugger jeans. Extra creepy.
• Before a mid-Mass baptism, the priest asked us to turn around and face the baptistry, putting our backs to the tabernacle for his song-and-dance version of the sacrament. Super creepy.
• The celebrant relaxed during Communion, and allowed the concelebrant and the aforementioned jean-wearing woman to "hand out" the Eucharist while he lounged. Downright heebie-jeebie creepy.

At least I was able to buy a sweet pair of sacrificial doves in the back of the church. Only two sheckels a piece! Okay, now I'm pulling your leg. They were four sheckels.

After Mass, my father was driving me to the next item on the day's itinerary, and I tried to keep the subject on our upcoming dinner. But he had to ask ... ask what I thought. I told him it was the most decadent liturgy I'd ever witnessed.

My dad is a Roman deacon neo-Catholic (and let's keep our comments genteel, please), and pointed out that he noticed the celebrant sitting-out Communion, and also that it's against the rubrics to speak "Let us proclaim the mystery of faith," if you aren't going to chant it. "But decadent? Certainly Guy is just being his hyperbolizing self," his body language conveyed.

But I was quite honestly stunned and offended at the whole mess, and shuddered when a Catholic clergyman, who is honest despite his rose-colored glasses, wasn't horrified along with me.

***

The lunatics are running the asylum, and everyone else has been institutionalized so long, they've ceased to realize there's a sane world outside.

God is angry - he must be. Complete disrespect of The Holy One is going to bring down terrible punishment, unless our situation already is The Lord of Sabaoth's rod on our backs.

If this is our divinely appointed scourging, or if it's still on the way, better we get it here on Earth than elsewhere.