Catholic blog roundup

Thought-provoking material from other blogs:

Traditio in Radice: "John Paul the Great?"

The discussion is what grabs me primarily here, since I'm already convinced about the topic. Words are exchanged as to:

A: Whether the whole "HHJPII is over-rated" issue is beaten into the ground, and
B: If such hostility serves to create scandal amidst the ignorati.

The answers are, respectively, "somewhat" and "probably." However, speaking as one who feels he and his nation have been deeply cheated by an effeminate hierarchy that appears to have little zeal for souls and even less appreciation of aesthetics, reminding everyone what a terrible job the last several pontiffs have done is a difficult vice to give up.

Conservative Blog For Peace: "The Lefebvrentines rubbish my LRC mentors"

The nut of the post:

"The creeds, other doctrine and the old Mass are true and good, but thinking the solution to the world’s and one’s own problems is to try to force everything to relate explicitly to the Catholic Church, as they are trying to do, sounds frankly childish and very autistic to me."

Pragmatically, this is an accurate thesis. If my souffle keeps deflating, no matter what recipe I try, it would be erroneous and in bad taste to blame the local pastor holding polka masses for bringing down the Wrath of God on the community. Theoretically, the vibrations from all that accordion music and foot-tapping could deflate a souffle, but that's another story.

Besides, as Haraldsson's Razor reminds us, "All things being equal, it's Islam's fault."

However, since in Him only does true good lie, and that part of his His creation that struggles against Him brings down on itself frustration and damnation, it's tough to believe that our societies haven't been withheld graces for our stiff-necked stupidities. If the butterfly effect is true in matter, why not in spirit?

To be more precise, polka masses and altar girls are not the immediate causes that service at drive-through windows has gotten lousy and people don't dress well. But they certainly don't help.

(Islam is the reason your change is wrong at the supermarket checkout. The more mosques in your area, the greater God's anger, and the greater chance you'll be missing a fiver. To combat this, buy pork chops and beer every time you go shopping.)

Guinea pigs go Hollywood

We've all seen the Snapple ad from a few years ago re-enacting The Running of the Bulls with guinea pigs.

But, have you seen this new commercial for G4TV with one seriously creepy piglet?

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Flipping channels the other night, the clicker took me to some Power Rangers spin off; in this show, the kids are students by day, ninjas by night, and Power Rangers by ... well, the next day. Anyhoo, their sensei is a chop-sockey guinea pig! Oh, and his name is "Sensei Guinea Pig."

He must spend all day in the gym to get such muscular guns. Most guinea pigs, being herbivores, don't eat enough protein to pull off that ripped physique.

Happy Norwegian Independence Day!

(One day early).

This year, instead of concentrating on modern flag-wavers as in years past, let us look to another Norse freedom fighter of long ago.

Enjoy this fine image of St. Olav distributing money before the Battle of Stiklestad. The day pictured here won't end well for our fine friend.

In iconography, Olav is depicted holding the axe that was the instrument of his martyrdom.

Olav died, in part, so that my ancestors could be free from the tyranny of false gods. So while freedom from Denmark is great, being out from under Odin-Allfather is ever better.

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If you'd like more facts about Norway's birth as a modern nation, click here.

Eeeevil Cartoons

Watched the Fox Sunday block last night. The Simpsons had an episode about evolution ... the only good thing that ever comes out of movies or TV shows about evolution are Southern lawyers in seersucker suits and ribbon ties.

(Just love those guys! Patterned my own work persona around them.)

And such is still largely the case here. As a relatively new convert to Creationism, your correspondant can testify that most of the public remains ignorant of the thought behind the matter.

Sadly, Lisa cites George Will and Pope John Paul II as "conservatives who supported evolution theory." Way to give scandal, Your Holiness!

One is tempted to toss out a Comic Book Guy-esque "Worst Pope Ever" remark, but we all know that was Paul VI.

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Further, on The Family Guy, Peter Griffin explains the creation of the universe in terms of God arm-wrestling with a frat boy. God distracts his opponent with a crude bodily function, and in the same process our universe explodes into being.

My wife asked me if I found that offensive. My immediate thought, and this is completely true, is that I was primarily upset at the suggestion that God would cheat at arm-wrestling.

The Albino Code

Apparently, albinos think they are too often portrayed as evil in the movies.

Have you seen this yet? The Albino Code. It's a tad amusing.

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On the same subject, T&A has yet to comment on The DaVinci Code. Its readership is comprised primarily of people who haven't finished a whole book since "Green Eggs and Ham."

One doesn't have to be St. Augustine to have an opinion on theology (such would close most of us out, certainly), but the intellectual entrance fee is higher than a single work of fiction under your belt.

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Speaking of being well-read, have you been to a bookstore recently? The local Border's and Barnes and Noble both now have three sections:

1: Oprah
2: Witchcraft
3: Coffee table books.

Our Catholic supply store in the area has two sections:

1: Lives of saints for children, women, and specific careers
2: Pope John Paul II.

Thank goodness for Amazon!

Oldie but Goodie

(Note to spinsters and school marms: Mild language in the following joke.)

***

A man from the Midwest strikes oil on his land. The first thing he decides to do is treat himself and his poor crippled younger brother to a year-long trip to see Europe.

When they get back, the local press is excited to find out what the two small town boys thought of the world, so a reporter goes out to get the scoop. He catches the older brother one morning going out to work.

"Sir! Everyone would really like to know," says the newsie, "where did you go on your trip?"

"Well, first we went to Paris," the brother says. "It was beautiful ... the lights, the river, the sights from the top of the Eiffel Tower ..."

The reporter asks, "Did your brother go to the top of the Eiffel Tower?"

"No, my brother's a cripple, he couldn't get up there."

"So," asks the reporter, "where to next?"

Then the man says, "Well, off we went next to Venice. The whole place was amazing. We saw the museums and all the pretty buildings. And of course the gondolas."

Curious, the reporter follows up, "Did your brother take a gondola ride, too?"

"No, my brother's a cripple, he can't climb into a gondola."

"Was there anywhere else you went," the journalist asks, "after that?"

"My, yes," replies the man. "Next we went to Rome. Spent most of our time in Vatican City. We even got to see the Pope! He came out on his little balcony and waved to the crowd, and blessed everyone there. My brother immediately dropped his crutches and threw his hands in air!"

"Goodness," says the astonished reporter, "and your brother can walk?!"

"No, my brother's a cripple. He fell on his ass."

***

(See, all this time you thought it was a joke about the handicapped, when in actuality, it's a Catholic joke.)

Like a man at a baby shower

J.D. Carriere has a recent post tumbling about Eucharistic ministers. Most of the discussion is genderless, but is titled "Unnecessary Broads," and has a picture of an amused and under-dressed ministrix.

While we could take notice of the plainness of the participants, both lay and clerical, and the drab meeting-hall style of what is visible of the church, we shan't.

Instead, let's consider precisely how many things have been screwed up by unnecessary broads.

• Pubs. A unisex bar is a meat market. When the women come in, the stogies and boisterous piano songs shuffle out. Then enter the young males on the hunt, doused in cologne and gussied up in urban flair. Lastly, the dance music takes over. A perfectly good pub is ruined.
• The Vatican. Folks who say we'll never have female priests haven't taken a good look at the crop we have.
• Offices. Forget about sexual politics in the workplace, the double standard that females can treat their jobs as hobbies and males can't is bad enough.
• The ballot box. This should be self evident. Of course we should not forget that one of the founding principles of T&A is that even men shouldn't be voting (at least not much).

Well, Pet, I'm off for a pint ...