Out of town for a few days ...

... here are a few links to enjoy until I get back.

Pirate Mod. For all your piratey outfitting needs.

The latest on the relegalization of ephedra in the U.S.

The text of the Anglican Use Catholic Mass. All the buzz recently.

The most amazing scenario ever for Civilization III. Old news to you dedicatd Civ fans, but I've recently been playing it again.

An article about Hoppe and "time preference." Tangentially discusses monarchism.

More on the status of Bulgarian Prime Minister King Simeon. A wild story. If you haven't been following it, check it out.

Sins of wrath and pride

Several recent posts on other blogs have been troubling my conscience. First, is this from Disputations, via Dappled Things, which touches on folks who want a general ecclesial crackdown from the new pope.

"And in all honesty, 'radiating the joy of the faith' is not how I would characterize those eagerly awaiting the first batch of excommunications."

Ouch. That one hits close to home. Is it wrong to crave leadership? Is it improper to be scandalized when a local priest says you can attend Communion after missing Mass? The "joy of faith" is overemphasized at the expense of the "sobriety of faith" in this bourgeouis era, but can one yearn for a general crackdown and not be a Pharisee? I don't know.

Then there is the Thoughts of Apolonio Latar III, a high schooler whose piety shames me. I'm too embarassed to post the link lest he follow it backwards and find my pitiful scribblings. It's "apolonio dot blogspot dot com." After a mortal sin, he couldn't find a confessor:

"I instead went to the rectory of the church I was at and rang the doorbell. No one answered. I prayed hail marys and said, 'Please God, if it be your will to forgive me today, give me a priest. If it be your will that I receive your mercy, please give me a priest. Hail Mary, full of grace...My mother, please send me a priest. You know how it is like when you lost your Son at the temple. I lost Him now. Please send me a priest.'

"Priests are wonderful. They may not be the best homilist, but they still have the power to forgive sins and to change bread into His Body. The hands of priests points to the mercy of God. The next time you see a priest, give glory to God. The priest may not even be orthodox. The priest may even be liberal. But he is still a priest. St. Francis of Assisi said that he would bow down even to the worst priest. The priest should get that honor. "

On the 5-whip Contrition Scale, right now I deserve at least 2.5 self-mortification lashes.



O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven, and the pains of hell; but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life. Amen.

Cumprimentos

Let me extend a welcome to visitors arriving here from A Casa De Sarto, a Trad Catholic blog written in Portuguese, which has sent T&A a nice trickle of daily visitors. From what I can tell, it's from Portugal, the blessed land of Fatima, and not Brazil (which has an active Trad community of its own).

I'm tickled to be linked to a foreign-language blog. If, like me, you don't speak Portuguese, run the site through Babel Fish to get an idea of what's going on.

Sadly, God has not graced me with a gift for languages. I have a sister who speaks three tongues fluently and two poorly, so she must have gotten all the linguistic genes in the family. After three years of high school French, I remember nothing; after trying to teach myself German, I can say, "Wo kann Ich Fleisch kaufen?" So if I ever run into HH Benedict XVI, at least we can sit down for a bratwurst.

The wonders of Babel Fish did allow me to appreciate it somewhat, and to extend the following greeting.

***

Deixe-me estender uma boa vinda aos visitantes que chegam aqui de A Casa De Sarto, um blog Catholic de Trad escrito no Português, que emitiu a T&A um trickle agradável de visitantes diários. De o que eu posso dizer, é de Portugal, a terra blessed de Fatima, e não de Brasil (qual tem uma comunidade ativa de Trad do seus próprios).

Eu sou agradado para ser ligado a um blog da extrangeiro-língua. Se, como mim, você não falar o Português, funcione o local através dos peixes de Babel para começar uma idéia de o que está indo sobre.

Sadly, o Deus não graced me com um presente para línguas. Eu tenho uma irmã que fale três lingüetas fluently e dois mal, assim que deve ter começado todos os genes lingüísticos na família. Após três anos do Francês da High School, eu não recordo nada; após tentar ensinar-se o Alemão, eu posso dizer, do "Wo kann Ich Fleisch kaufen?" Assim se eu funcionar sempre em HH Benedict XVI, ao menos nós podemos sentar-se para baixo para uma bratwurst.

Teuto-perfectionism

The good news just keeps pouring in about HH Benedict XVI. Many signs are pointing to an old-school papacy.

• Cardinal Ratzinger was in talks to assimilate AngloTrads into the Church.

and more to the forthcoming point,

• HH has chosen an older, more ornate pallium.
• Benedict embracing high culture Masses (if still Novus Ordo).
• Pontiff wearing traditional red shoes eschewed by HHJPII.
• Pope rediscovering dormant ceremonies.

Sweet. There are some downsides: The outdoor mass, not using the papal tiara, etc. But it's a huge step in the right direction, it warms the cockles of this proud formalist's heart. We can only hope that these signify a more authoritarian and traditional reign.

It's really hard to say with Germans. God has endowed the Teutonic soul with a deep love of details. It's true. In my sales career, we have a saying, "You'll get nowhere with Germans and engineers." And lots of Deutch-Americans seem to become engineers - those are the worst of the lot. They get lost in fine points and demand all options (even bad ones) be presented, and won't make any decision without 100% certitude. And they all think your first motivation is to screw them.

Did I ever tell you about the German who wanted to buy long term care insurance from me? We pored over the details through three full appointments. Nothing happened. "I'll call you back," says he, "after I've had some time to digest these prospecti." Six months later, he had a stroke. He could have had a half-million in cost coverage for half-a-year's premium payments.

So it's hard to say if a German's love of liturgical particularities is a sign of traditionalism or just of a passion for minutia.

Feast of our patron

Simple math for Niconazis

The PSAs here have been banging away extra hard at smoking recently. Now, they're upset that 80% of PG movies show people smoking, which in turn supposedly influences children to smoke.

Setting aside the tobacco tradition in movies, and the way it's used to convey character, there is one glaring fact to consider. About 22% of the American population smokes - thus, if there is only one character in movie, there's a 22% chance that someone will smoke. And if there are:

• 2 characters, a 41.36% chance.
• 3 characters, a 54.26% chance.
• 4 characters, a 64.32% chance.
• 5 characters, a 72.17% chance.
• 6 characters, a 78.29% chance.
• 7 characters, an 83.07% chance.

So there you have it. In any movie with more than seven characters (which is certainly most), Hollywood may be under representing the actual smoking population.

People don't smoke all day, a critic might say, so why would we see them all? Okay, assume half the smokers wouldn't puff during the action of the film. It still means that at least one human being will smoke 80% of the time 14 people are on screen. How many movies have less than 14 characters?

File this one under "hysteria."

Mad mods; Link-splosion; Papal apology

The progressive, radical, and kook fringe of the Church is crying in its collective chardonnay about the election of HH Benedict XVI.

It's a Modernist Catholic Passover; "Why on this night do we eat bitter herbs?" "Because our forefathers were slaves in the pre-Conciliar Church. That is why we eat bitter herbs on Ratzinger Night."

This gets three and a half, out of a possible five, Happy Haraldssons.


***

A potpourri of links for your edification and entertainment:

An interesting list of micronations and tiny sovereign jurisdictions. Warning: Lots of little pictures. But before fleeing your alimony payments, make sure to delete the evidential link from your favorites.

Modern mummification for pets. Thank goodness. This is going to save me a lot of money on sea salt and myrrh.

CDs of Sister Marie Keyrouze. She performs Byzantine, Melchite and Maronite chant. French by citizenship, Maronite by birth, and Melchite by choice, her voice is ghostly and beautiful. The Melchite tonality is a little foreign to Western ears. T&A recommends her Maronite work, it plays in the half-hour before the local Maronite Divine Liturgy.

Tom DeLay slams Justice Kennedy for, among other things, doing his research on the internet. E-media hating teachers everywhere sensed a Disturbance in the Force when Kennedy used Salon.com as one of his mandatory-minimum three sources.

New non-collectible card game based on "Army of Darkness." Another nifty niche title that my friends will snub their nose at while pining for yet another hand of Texas Hold'em.

Catholic Monarchist swag for sale (not by me) at Cafe Press.

***

I'd like to formally and publicly apologize to HH Pope John Paul II for rash comments made over dinner last night. Sometimes, the words "Vatican II" flip the Krazy Switch in my limbic system. Details are unimportant but it involved his job performance, not his personal sanctity.

I'm sorry.

Long live Benedict XVI, the Hessian Hammer!

THANK YOU GOD for the election of Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger to the office of Supreme Pontiff.

His reputation is likely a bit overblown, at least as "God's Rottweiler" or the "Panzer Pope," but methinks a bit o' tail-whupping may still be done. This looks like it's going to be a top-notch papacy. I'll betcha there were a lot of long faces in Albany, Los Angeles, and St. Paul.

When I saw his smile grace the balcony, I teared up.

***

Your humble correspondant could not have been more wrong in his predictions. Oh well, this is better anyhow. (And, I just coined that "Hessian Hammer" term. If someone beat me, my apologies. Otherwise, it's all me.)

THE OFFICIAL CONCLAVE 2005 SCORE:

• Holy Spirit: 1.
• Mahoney and Daneels: 0.

Official Conclave Predictions

THE POPE WILL BE ITALIAN.
(90% Certainty)
The Italians will throw in with almost any ideological or geographic polity in order to not fully lose their grip on the institution.

THE NEXT PAPACY WILL BE INWARD LOOKING.
(80% Certainty)
Nobody will be able to step out of the shadow of HHPJPII to impress non-Catholics, so they won't try that hard. His focus will be more ecclesial, but ...

THE SOUL-GNAWING MEDIOCRITY WILL CONTINUE.
(95% Certainty)
This includes the Tridentine Limbo, the coddling of internal heretics/external schismatics, the appeasement of Islam, and the diddling by the Lavender Mafia. Most of his changes will be small and meaningless. These changes will be lauded as revolutionary achievements by papolators, and denounced as reactionary by cChurch.

The new pontiff may choose one problem to really hammer away at to assert himself. If he does, Godspeed to him.

The Lamentations of Jeremias

Chapter 3

1 I am the man that see my poverty by the rod of His indignation.
2 He hath led me, and brought me into darkness, and not into light.
3 Only against me He hath turned, and turned again His hand all the day.
4 My skin and my flesh He hath made old, He hath broken my bones.
5 He hath built round about me, and He hath compassed me with gall, and labour.
6 He hath set me in dark places as those that are dead for ever.
7 He hath built against me round about, that I may not get out: He hath made my fetters heavy.
8 Yea, and when I cry, and entreat, He hath shut out my prayer.
9 He hath shut up my ways with square stones, He hath turned my paths upside down.
10 He is become to me as a bear lying in wait: as a lion in secret places.
11 He hath turned aside my paths, and hath broken me in pieces, He hath made me desolate.

Human cruelty

Sorry for the vagueness, but I'd rather not have the anecdote recognized.

I had an interview this spring with a Catholic business. It ran for three hours, in which they questioned me, I questioned them, and then I took a test, all in just about equal measure.

This was the middle of the week. They told me that if they wanted to see me for a second interview, they'd call by the following Monday. And if they didn't want me, I'd get some notification. Well, that Monday came and went. C'est la vie. End of story.

No. Three weeks later they call me, and want to see me again ASAP. This was the end of the week, so I scheduled it for the next Monday.

Boy was I excited! That weekend, I went out and charged a brand new $500 suit, because I really wanted this job and thus had to dress to kill.

The morning of, I get a call from the interviewer's secretary that she was called away unexpectedly. "When can we reschedule," asked I.

"She was in a hurry," said he, "she'll have to get back to you."

"Uh, um, OK."

One week later, I leave a message on the secretary's voice mail to see what's going on. One week after that, I send a nice enthusiastic letter requesting some sort of correspondence.

Almost a full month since my alleged second interview date, I get a form letter noting my "impressive qualifications" but that I'm not currently a "perfect fit." And it's not even from the same branch or signed by anyone I've ever met there. Wow.

So I'm crushed. To repeat: a Catholic business. Having previously been a second choice who got the job when the A-lister quit, I know better than to burn my bridges. But if I had any cajones at all, I'd send them the bill for that damn suit I couldn't even afford.

***

I'm taking advice. Right now I'm leaning toward a standard "Thanks for the opportunity" greeting card casually mentioning my disappointment in losing that second interview. Thoughts?

Hapsburg site; dating nonsense

Here's a great site dedicated to the Imperial House of Hapsburg.

For a site audacious enough to subtitle itself "Osterreich Uber Alles," they use the dating format "BCE" and "CE." Strange.

But maybe they're right. AD and BC are just too old-fashioned, and ... Catholic. I've got a few suggestions:

• BW and WE. For Americans. "Before Washington" and "Washington Era." Before that, little important happened.
• PP, PPP, and YPPP. For the Orthodox. "Prin (Before) Plato," "Prin Patriarchis Photius," and "Ystera (After) Prin Partiarchis Photius." Greeks love to be complicated. Or course, it's Julian.
• ADR. For liberals. "Anno Domini (In the Year of Our Lord) Roosevelt." There's nothing before Roosevelt. If you say there is, you'll have to be re-educated.
• PC and PC. For cChurchmen. "Pre-Conciliar" and "Post-Conciliar." This also has the advantage of being vague and imprecise, which they'll love.
• SILSSITH. For Mussulman terrorists. "Since I Last Sent Some Infidel To Hell."

Alco-culture; Islamofantasy; Prince Albert in a clutch

Let's do this one backwards. Prince Albert of Monaco was on Larry King and mentioned that he had no children at 46. He's not even married! So much for the Royal House, hopefully they have some side-heirs on deck.

This supports my thought that crown ascendency should be given to the prince that has the most male children when the king dies. It'd sure reduce messy situations like this, and the potential impending end of the Japanese dynasty.

***

At Marcvs the Bard's Tales: Israeli Army lowers security clearance for D&D players. The punchline on this one is too good to spoil, so just go read it.

***

I've been shocked to learn over the years that pub culture trails off west of the Mississippi. Even Manhattan, the Den of Iniquity, has pubs.

The first time I noticed the non-universality of pubs was in Canada, where is seems that outside of towns and cities, an institution prevails that I believe is called a "beer hall." They're wide, the long bar or bars take up much of the back wall, decoration is sparse, and tables and chairs are crammed in.

But what really shocked me was the funny look I got from a Californian way back when I was 21. I was in DC at a Young America's conference, and when day was done, suggested to my confreres from around the nation that we find a pub. This fellow was surprised that young people would want to go to such a place, and actually play darts or just hang out, talk, and put money in the juke. Apparently, pubs were only for aging hipsters where he came from; young people went to dance clubs and tried to grind their bits into other people they didn't know.

Dance clubs exist in upstate New York, but they're mostly for summer tourists, cocaine dealers, and flashy Italians.

Years later, in Dublin on my honeymoon, my wife and I invited this charming gay couple from Houston, Texas, that were at our table on the cruise to grab lunch with us at a pub. There has always been much ballyhoo about "real Irish pubs" and "real Guinness," so I mentioned that the Guinness tastes the same as it does at home, and this pub is remarkably similiar to my own haunt back home - the mahogany, the pictures of drunken patrons from 50 years ago, the piano, etc.

But to them, it was a cultural experience. Apparently, dance clubs prevail in Houston as well, and one of the two have never been in a pub before; the most publike thing around them was TGI Friday's. They were surprised that these places were everywhere in NY.

Apparently, there are some beer halls in Houston, but not much in the way of pubs - mostly dance clubs. Then again, they were gay, so if stereotypes hold they went straight to the dance clubs anyway.

Recent Islamofelicity

Christian convert sentenced to death in Iran.

Previously, the EU shook its finger at Iran when he was arrested. Thanks for that, Europe.

***

On the bright side, China is smothering the Islamic Uighurs. Except the executions. Close all the mosques you want, but don't kill them please.

***

Here's a rambling, yet interesting article on Africa, Islam, the next pope, and the Church's relation to pre-existing pagan ideas of ancestry.

And that one links to another one by the same author, with what must be the Quote of the Month, "In 200 years, French and German will be spoken exclusively in hell."

***

You'll be surprised to find out that HH John Paul II was chummy with people who support international military Crusades against Islam. You guessed it, Opus Dei. I couldn't bear to read the piece closely, but I think it involves the Holy Grail, orbital mind control lasers, Freemasons, and black helicopters.

***

Tangentially, check out the Douay Catechism of 1649, in PDF and hosted by The Remnant. Like St. Paul said, some are on milk and some are on solid food. Did you know there are these things called "sins" ... and you might actually be committing some of them?

New York Journal

This past weekend, I had to take one of my semi-annual trips to New York City to visit my in-laws.

NYC isn't really all that different from upstate, except upstate has more deer and fewer prostitutes. Still, even after all these years, it feels like a foreign country. Whenever I go there, I see things everywhere and think, "Hey, that looks like Grand Theft Auto III." Chinatown, low income housing, the docks ... Does this make me a bigger rube, or a bigger geek? You decide.



Crossing the Throgs Neck Bridge, there was a glorious blue cupola shining in the sun in what appeared to be the outskirts of Manhattan. From a little research, it appears to be St. Nicholas of the OCA. But I'm not sure, they're listed as "Whitestone, NY," and I didn't get a good view of the body of the church.

Somehow I managed to be overdressed at a country club party of upper-upper-middle class Italians. There were about 45 people there, and I was one of only three men wearing a suit. A nice dapper bronze number with matching shoes, sharply patterned tie, and a cream shirt. But the locals mostly wore plain blue blazers, tan pants, and a solid-colored tie. The outfit just screamed, "Lookit me, I got me Sunday Best on!"

We stopped for gas in lower Westchester County on the way home, and I got out to see if there was a bathroom for customers. I nicely asked the Indian fellow behind the counter, and he pointed a surly finger to a sign that read "No Restrooms," and smiled liked he enjoyed disappointing me.

Now, the guy spoke English to his buddy, so there was no reason he couldn't say, "No, I'm sorry, we don't have a restroom." He's just a jerk.

So I said to him, "If you weren't such a charmer, I'd take my gas business elsewhere."

Then he, with a big toothy smile, replied, "We don't care!"

At this point it was all I could do not get mouthy with the guy. I pride myself on personal courtesy, but when it's not returned, I have a hard time turning the other cheek. Downstaters are like wild animals, you never know when they'll go from harmless to violent, so prudence won the day and I walked out. But, I was going to say, "Good luck with your elephant-headed false gods, jackass."

Hee hee, that'd been a good one.

Your servant and His Holiness

This photo was taken in the summer of 2002. HH was kind enough to grant me a private audience in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, in his spare time. The hall in which we spoke was owned by one Madame Tussaud, who was unable to attend this unprecedented event.

As Il Papa stepped off the plane, the Dutch bishops scurried under refrigerators or chewed new nests in the walls.

And that was the day HH told me he was going to make me a cardinal in pectore. I protested; "Your Holiness, I'm married!" But he would have none of it. Since the Vatican is unable to find the documents to prove who the new cardinal is, I've decided to live out my days in prayerful obscurity.

iPope; Canadian monarchist; Yahoo Kung!

The iPope will take care of all your authority needs during interregnum. Depending on who's elected, you might need to hold on to it for a good few years.

***
Check out The Monarchist, a Canadian of the aforementioned persuasion. It seems pretty solid and has a good number of links. Not Catholic, but nobody's perfect.

I used to live near the Canadian border, and did a good deal of amateur traveling in the eastern half of the country, and gained an affection for its people. What goes on up there politically is a shame; in many ways, they're in worse shape than we are.

And I empathize with how many of them feel about the U.S.; it's a little akin to how upstaters view New York City - a southern neighbor who has scads of vitality and more wealth, but loaded with rude and haughty people and spreading a debased culture.

As an American, this ongoing monarchy discussion is largely armchair generalship. But for Canadians, the loss of the Crown is a real political issue.

***

Throne and Altar is now the 40th "most relevant" result, out of 482,000 possible results, at Yahoo for the search phrase "Hans Kung." Tee hee!

Smokin' hot in church; God of War

God of War is one of the most top-notch video games ever. You have to play this game. The combo system, graphics, music, storyline ... everything. They even do a good job with the Greek mythology.



I can't even believe these graphics are on the PS2; they're downright XBox worthy. The controls are intuitive, there are scads of special attacks and weapons, and you can kill larger monsters (minotaurs, gorgons, cyclopses, etc.) with specialized "finishing move mini-games." Tons o' fun.

Be warned, it's not for the easily offended. Worst, there's unfortunate human cruelty, but the soccer moms will be most upset about the topless females (not that I support gratuitous bosoms in video games, but the censors will have a bigger stick-up-the-rear-end about nudity than they will cruelty, which is objectively worse).

***

Speaking of occasions of sin, I just went to confession before a daily New Rite Mass yesterday, my last participation in that sacrament being three months ago. I'm praying the Rosary to get my head in the game before Mass begins, relaxing with the blue-hair brigade that populates daily Mass - and who walks in?

A smoking hot twentysomething young lady. And I don't mean upstate New York hot, I mean California hot, or at least New York City hot. White capri pants, skin tight sky blue shirt with belly button showing, long tawny hair, and a light tan.

This isn't fair! I unload myself through a priest to Christ and am trying to prep for the Blessed Sacrament, and not five minutes later, in strolls walking temptation. And such thoughts always make for a mortifying confession.

While it always warms the heart to see my fellow twentysomethings at daily Mass, and she's to be commended for being there, she was dressed for a bar. Not just any regular pub, but a real meat market dance club.

Crazier still, she took Communion on the tongue. That threw me for a loop. And after Mass she kissed the hand of the life-size devotional statue of Christ, and prostrated herself before it.

Okay, I made that last sentence up. But the rest is true, and it's just too much for a red-blooded man to bear.

Prince Rainier dies; the Family Stone

Prince Rainier of Monaco has died. Good luck to Prince Albert.

***

More proof of what a dummy I am: Driving yesterday, it just occured to me that the Stone in "Sly and the Family Stone" is the family name, a la "The Brothers Karamozov." The archaic phrasing threw me. I used to think "family" was possessive, as in "the family dog," like they owned a stone or something.

How can you read a blog by someone who for years labored under such nonsense?

Elegy

John Paul II, baptized Karol Wojtyla, the Bishop of Rome, Metropolitan of Rome, Primate of Italy, Patriarch of the Latin Church, and Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Catholic Church, died 9:37 p.m. Roman time Saturday, April 2.

The peoples' pope will be missed, and made many contributions to Christ's Church. He wrote powerful encyclicals on the Culture of Life, was one of four leaders responsible for the Soviet Empire's defeat, made generous overtures to our separated Eastern brethren, spread the Faith in the Third World, began the stabilization of the GIRM, and led the papacy into the Media Age.

While too early to assign the honorific "the Great," his heroic personal sanctity was almost beyond human reproach and sainthood proceeding should being with all due haste.

Godspeed, Il Papa!

Proof reporters still hide flasks

... just like in old movies.

"After a quarter-century of John Paul's strong personality and hands-on management style, some want Vatican officials to stay out of the day-to-day operations of dioceses. Others believe officials in Rome should stay deeply involved to crack down on dissent."

"Strong personality" is debatable. A better word might be "charming." But "hands-on management style?" Whoever wrote this is either drunk or mentally ill. If anyone believes in bishop collegiality, it's HH Pope John Paul II. What proof do you want - rainbow sashers, self-intinction, unpunishished clerical apostasy?

Where did people get this idea? From HH standing up for what popes have always stood up for, like a straight male priesthood and life for the unborn? If a pope adheres to baseline doctrine he's a new Torquemada in their minds.

Of course, please continue to pray for the repose of the Holy Father until and after his passing.

(Ahh ... Torquemada ... those were some good times.)

I'm lovin' it

Postmodern Liturgist Resources celebrates all that cChurch has to offer.

So go, check it out, and "get your smile on."